LC-001
🪨 Gravel Identity Crisis
When a homeowner can't decide between zen garden and parking lot and lands somewhere painful in between.
common
LC-007
🎄 Seasonal Attachment Disorder
Holiday decorations persisting months past their season. The lawn is trapped in a temporal anomaly.
epidemic
LC-012
🛁 Repurposed Vessel Syndrome
Bathtubs, toilets, and old boots used as planters. The yard is going through its upcycling phase.
common
LC-019
🦩 Plastic Fauna Dependency
When the fake flamingo population outnumbers actual wildlife in a 3-block radius.
rising
LC-025
🧙 Gnome Hoarding Disorder
3+ gnomes is a collection. 7+ is a community. 12+ is a government.
epidemic
LC-033
🌋 Mulch Volcano Disorder
Mulch piled 18 inches high around tree trunks in a perfect cone. The tree is suffocating.
epidemic
LC-041
⛲ Delusions of Grandeur (Aquatic)
A tiny yard with an oversized water feature. The yard thinks it's Versailles.
rising
LC-048
🔗 Chain Link Aesthetic Denial
A beautifully planted garden imprisoned behind rusting chain link. Stockholm syndrome in plant form.
common
LC-055
📐 Competitive Edging Disorder
When edging becomes an obsession. Perfect lines everywhere. The lawn is one edge away from a breakdown.
rising
LC-062
🌳 Topiary Dysmorphia
Shrubs trimmed into shapes that were clearly intended to be something but no one can tell what.
common